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I Said Yes

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      There's an eye catching title, eh? Yes, I said Yes. No, not to a  relationship--heavens, no. I said Yes to me. It's amazing how easy it is to say yes to the things we really want to say no to because we were raised to be nice and not hurt other's feelings. Born people pleasers, we have difficulty with that little two letter word: no. Taking on a colleague's work while they're out on PTO when you're already buried under your own deadlines and work commitments. Saying yes to favors (lending your car or money or time that you really don't have to spare) because you worry about disappointing the other person or you drown yourself in guilt for not making yourself, funds, or vehicle readily available. And learning to stand up for yourself and protecting your boundaries is a great thing, we do not need to be everything to everyone all the time. But there's also a flip side to this conundrum: the knee jerk no to something potentially positive.     So, I am...
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Celebrating Valentines Day for Singles

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      Tomorrow is Valentines Day  and after finally getting back on the holiday celebration bandwagon over Christmas and New Years, I decided I didn't want Valentines to slide quietly by without notice. I mean, it doesn't have to be a holiday just for couples. In this new era of self care, taking time to treat yourself, loving who you are becoming, celebrating even those minute baby steps towards your goals, why wouldn't more singles take the time to splurge and spoil themselves for Valentines Day? We've earned some loving TLC too!     So, in the spirit of this new mindset, I decided to treat myself to a beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday. I adore daisies and this bouquet instantly caught my eye with it's pop of pink roses and purple asters nestled among a dozen fluffy white summery daisies and delicate babies breath. For less than ten dollars I have this beautiful display by my desk and I smile every time I walk past it. Worth every penny! Okay, I...
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A Sign of the Times

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     No, this isn't a post about Harry Styles although I did just have to pull up the video since I absolutely love this song. Rather, this post is about those annoying little tunes that get stuck in our heads, going round and round or popping up out of nowhere, triggered by some unknown or unexpected circumstance.     It used to be, and I'll be aging myself here, these kitschy tunes came from either catchy TV commercials or, even better, sit-com theme songs, which sometimes were a bit better than the shows themselves. I've had so much fun just  researching for this post, a sweet amble down memory lane...I could picture myself in my parents' living room, sprawled on the floor in front of the TV, belting out lyrics to both commercials and sit coms, so full of myself and doing my best to annoy my brothers, something always easily accomplished. But, for those of you from my generation, just mentioning WKRP , you can hear the theme song imm...
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The Struggle is Real

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      I'm struggling to paint and draw this weekend. I tried to work on my acrylic piece yesterday and hated what I'd accomplished, so set it aside. Tried to sketch a little in my daily journal today and just couldn't produce more than a doodle of the three snail mail letters I have sitting here waiting to be answered. I just don't have it in me this weekend.      Yes, I am finally divorced after a year and a half of  waiting. The weight of the past twenty years, rather than at last washing away instead somehow feels like it's crushing me. Then Thich Nhat Hahn passed away early Saturday morning and I feel like I just can't get air into my lungs. So I've decided I'm going to take some time to just be and cry. A little. Or a lot.     I've watched a couple of the ceremonial videos from Plum Village in Vietnam as they prepare to lay Thay's body to rest. The Full Moon Temple packed with monastics chanting, paying...
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When You Want To Do It All

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      Along with the goals set for the new year, comes the time constraints of a typical twenty-four hour day and a seven day week. Five of those days spent working forty plus hours, another chunk devoted to house  work, weekly errands, taking care of kids and pets...less and less time is left for those things we actually want to do.      This year I want to run, paint, write, read, hike, bike, learn piano, learn another language, lose my COVID 30, race again, and maybe even date again--ha! I thought honestly about this today and it just overwhelmed me--how am I ever supposed to find the time?      Now, this time last year I was working almost sixty hours a week and stressed to the point of near nervous breakdown, so I'm very thankful to be back to a more reasonable forty-plus hour work week. And I  already get up at three each day so I have time to run and workout in the morning before hopping on the computer and diving i...
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Back on Track with the Stack

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    It has been a very Monday Monday here today, just little things going wrong, one after the other. Things that make you feel stupid and brainless, but honestly things that  aren't your fault when others seem to think you're a mind reader. Left my psychic cap in bed this morning apparently...but anyway...     The good news is:           1. I ran this morning and didn't pull any muscles or pop any joints.           2. I messaged NRC's team on Twitter and they helped me figure out why the app wasn't tracking my            treadmill runs (you have to hold the phone while you're running--I always just let it sit up on the little ledge with my iPad...) but NOW!! Now it's tracking and giving me credit for the runs I'm accumulating for The Stack! I'm maybe a little too excited about this but after worrying that I'd have to sit out the rest of the month and miss the challenge, ye...
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Be Still and Cook Swamp Cabbage

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      Having a bit of a down week here. Monday morning during my run something popped in my left hip and along my thigh forcing me to stop the run, limping just trying to walk as the belt on the treadmill slowed its speed. I've been babying this leg all week, trying not to panic about running out of time to complete the NRC January Stack challenge if I'm not able to run the rest of the month. Even just walking on the treadmill, if I increase the speed too much I feel a strain from my knee up through my quad and hip.       Then Friday morning, walking Tucker to the park in the snow, my left foot found a hole, twisting my ankle as pain shot up the entire leg. Not what I needed. I've had an ice pack strapped to my thigh daily, attempting gentle stretches throughout the day but it's so hard to give myself permission to be still, to give my leg a chance to heal. And Saturday's morning errands, I somehow found the cart with a crooked wheel that forced m...
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